And I found myself very, very tired, soulfully tired.
The human being longs for peace, to rest, to rise above the mundane chatter that creates and apparently, in contrast to this desire. We are at these times subject to the many thoughts that continue to run us and most, if not all of them based on the past. Is this what I want? To be here based on programming that repeats it self? Or do I want the stillness, the silence that comes of being present in this moment, taking note of every nuance; to the world unfolding. We are all the same essence unfolding as one! If we stand still in this moment and notice the leaves twitching in a slight breeze, the sound of a car racing by, the ever present chirping of that which runs through all that exists and all that which we do not see, where are my questions? My concerns have no basis. They are not here in this moment unless I bring them here. As human beings we are conditioned to that; conditioned to think, and in so doing to constantly repeating our selves in suffering.
A time will come when it occurs to one that this way of being is contrary to my attempts to be happy. We drop all desire to resist and accept what is as the only thing that can be right here right now and continue to move forward. The movement can appear to be almost non-existent or it can feel like rushing down river heading for the grand rapids! As we are continually motivated toward Self realization we must trust that what occurs is part of the journey and keep moving. If one notices, becomes aware of feeling stuck it may be a time of readying before letting go even more. The road to ‘happiness’ is a road that takes us hither and yon until leading us to the place where my thoughts are finally recognized as having no more significance than the million grains of sand to my true nature. And yet I am one of the million and the million. In that I rest utterly at peace. I have given way to the stillness, the silence, the peace of mind.
“Letting go is not a one time event; it is a letting go as long as there is anything left to which one clings. For anything to which we cling is not our sacred self.” ~Robert Wolfe, Living Nonduality
There may be a dozen excuses why at this moment, now, it isn’t possible to wade through the thoughts and dive into the unknown, hands reaching out to feel the emptiness, no expectation of grasping anything and coming up free; empty handed and empty-minded. Now what excuse is there that would deny me everything?